Haven Herald/Vol. 96, No. 29

Vol. 96, No. 29 of the Haven Herald was a promotional issue released by Syfy between the second and third seasons of Haven. It was distributed at the 2012 New York Comic-Con and was awarded to contest winners as part of the Escape to Haven campaign.

Vince and Dave Teagues (credited as David) each contributed three articles to this edition of the paper. There are also articles by Amber Dixon, and Rudy Lucassi. The advice column "Ask Auntie Em" is written by Emma Dunkirk. There is also an interview with local horror author Stephen Bachman by Lawrence Fellows.

This edition of the Herald is set shortly after Garland Wuornos's death. An interview with new HPD Officer Audrey Parker references (and covers-up the disturbances caused by T. J. Smith's Trouble) and "Interior Asphalt A Headache For Haven" covers-up the cracks in the road caused by Wuornos' Trouble. There are also follow-up articles for some of the season one stories: a scholarship fund has been created in Matthew West's memory, and Simon Hessberg has dismissed the entire supervisory board of the Hessberg Medical Center in the wake of the drug selling scheme perpetrated by Nurses Rand and Wilson.

Transcripts

Haven Police Department Makes A Special Addition

by Vince Teagues, Herald Staff Writer

Haven rookie Officer Audrey Parker with acting Police Chief Nathan Wuornos during a recent investigation

A stolen car screeches down an alleyway with a drug cartel henchman behind the wheel. Its glaring headlights reveal the solitary lawman staring down the speeding car with gun drawn, death an almost certainty for one of them. To most, just a scenario for the silver screen; but for former FBI Special Agent Audrey Parker, it was just another day at the office. Until she gave it all up to join the Haven Police Department.     What would draw an accomplished FBI agent to a lower-paying and

lower-profile civil servant position here in Haven? "I choose to live and work in Haven for the same reason most other people do I suppose," Officer Parker explained, grinning. "It's quiet, nothing much happens... and I happen to like it that way."     While Officer Parker's sentiments are indeed echoes by most Havenites, recent reports have tarnished Haven's reputation for quiet coastal living. With a sharp rise in "nuisances calls," the Haven Police Department has been stretched to its limit. So what does Haven's newest

police officer think about the sudden influx in activity?     "It doesn't matter if it's pranksters putting red food coloring into the water system, or freakish wind and weather whippings frogs into windshields," said Parker. "Whatever troubles a Havener troubles me too — so even if a call turns out to be nothing...no citizen will ever be treated as anything but important."     Bravo, Officer Parker and welcome to our little town, where nothing ever happens.

Interior Asphalt A Headache For Haven

by Vince Teagues, Herald Staff Writer

George Finch is lucky to be alive. Only a block from his Elm Street auto repair shop, Finch's car overturned when the road suddenly split in two. While Finch feels fortunate to have escaped unharmed, he fumes over the cause of his close call. "There cracks are gonna kill somebody! Seriously, it's getting to be you can't step on the street without it splitting like a melon," Finch said.     Though initial suspicions of possible seismic activity were thought to be behind the damage, further investigation by the Department of Public Works points to another culprit. "This is an asphalt issue," said

Public Works Director Ron Richards addressing a group of concerned citizens at yesterday's Town Hall meeting. "Outside contractors were brought in on our roadwork renovations last year and clearly used inferior asphalt. This is a costly reminder that the problems of

Haven are best handled by the people of Haven."     Finch isn't the only one voicing concern over the chasm-like road cracks springing up all over town; many residents and business owners have lodged formal complains with the city. "It's not just a safety issue," School Bus Driver JoJo Wilson said. "It's an eyesore, and we just don't tolerate that sort of things here."     It now seems likely that Proposition 11, which ensures that all Public Works projects in Haven are granted exclusively to local business, is on its way to passage — a prospect many feel marks the road to recovery.

Ink Think
Horror Heavyweight To
Host Haven Book Signing

by Lawrence Fellows

Special To The Daily

{{quotation|

   There's a winding line
leading from Bea's Bookstore
in Haven and an electric
feeling of anticipation. It's
the line for hit horror writer
Stephen Bachman's signing of
his new bestseller: "[[Trouble In Mind|Trouble
In Mind."
   "Trouble" is Bachman's
sixty-eighth book and thirty-
sixth number one bestseller.
The reclusive Bachman, a
Haven local for many years, granted the Herald a few
minutes with the "first name in fear."
   HH: "Trouble In Mind" takes place in the fictional
town of Dayton Ferry. Some people have written
that the coast town isn't quite so fictional.
   SB: You mean people are saying it's Haven.
   HH: Well, they are.
   [Bachman lights his famed cherry-wood pipe
and grins.]
   SB: You seem bothered by that idea.
   HH: I gess I am. Fiction is one thing, but do you
really expect your fans to believe there's a real town
chock-full of supernaturally "troubled" people?
   SB: I don't expect my fans to do anything. If
there WAS such a town, "chock-full" would be an
exaggeration. There would be a healthy number;
some you fear, some you fear for. But I leave it to the
reader to decide what's fiction, what isn't.
   HH: Letting that go for a second, you've certainly
ratcheted up the horror in this book, haven't you?
   SB: Have I?
   HH: Killer clowns (from an early novel) are one
thing, but a heroine whose anger can make someone's
blood boil... that's not so much frightening as it is
far-fetched.
   SB: That's a matter of opinion. I'm frightened
by all sorts of things — for example, what if you
woke up one morning and a stickman doodle you
drew stabbed someone to death. Suddenly, you
don't know how long this thing you have _ let's call
it a "trouble" — will last, but you DO know that if it
leaves your control for even one moment, someone
dies. If that doesn't frighten you, you're a better man
than me.
   HH: It's frightening, but it's fiction. If this sort of
place with these sort of people existed, there would
be a media firestorm. Court cases. Scientific studies.
But there are none, which is why this is all just a
product of your brilliant and imaginative mind.
   SB: Not if they handled it the way the town handles
it in my novel. The fictional coastal community in my
book lives and dies on a well-kept secret. The people
pass their troubles to their children like a horrible
family heirloom. Eventually, it's the secrecy that
destroys them... and delivers them.
   HH: Well, far-fetched as it is, clearly "Trouble In
Mind" is resounding with Stephen Bachman fans
everywhere _ any thoughts on book sixty-nine?
   SB: [Laughter] Not yea. I write my books like I

live my life... one chapter at a time.}}

Hessberg Medical Center Overhauls Staff

by Amber Dixon, Contributing Columnist To The Herald

It has been quite a year for the Hessberg Medical Center: record number of patient deaths and now record staff firings. After leaked inquest reports revealed the Hessberg Medical Center had a mortality rate that nearly tripled the national average, Medical Center owner Simon Hessberg discharged the entire supervising board.     Though accusations of staff overmedication persist, Hessberg insists it is the repeated claim of a "shadow man" stalking the halls that have frightened the patients to death. Newly appointed staff psychologist Rowen Moore is well aware of the

urban legend haunting Hessberg Medical Center. "When mentally vulnerable patients hear tall tales about deadly shadows, even a simple plant shadow can send their blood pressure to dangerous levels."

Moore echoes Simon Hessberg's insistence that this is a new day for the much maligned Medical Center. With stricter policies aimed at protecting patients and holding the staff accountable, the administration has even incorporated "pitch black night," where every light is extinguished after 10pm. Still, this has brought little comfort to gullible patients. "Doctor Moore says we're mistaking shadows of things like plants for people," said a resident who asked to remain anonymous. "I've watered many a plant in my day, never had a fern shadow try and kill me yet. This is different. This is real."

Haven Hunt Club Takes Aim At New Membership

by David Teagues, Herald Staff Writer

Next Saturday, the Haven Hunt Club will celebrate is 180th anniversary with a membership drive. Though

often criticized as an elitist institution HHC manager Tobias Gillespie refutes rumors that a recent membership nosedive is behind this latest push.     "There were a few incidences of rabid wolf attacks that have scared off some members, but that just tells me they were never real hunters to begin with," Gillespie said. But with substantially lower annual fees and fewer references required, requests for HCC applications have tripled.     Though a small but vocal group of animal rights protestors continues to

protest the club's activities, sentiment among local hunters is decidedly different. "I don't know what's out there, I just know that people have been ripped to pieces," said new HHC member Lou Johnson. "The more skilled hunters we have in Haven, the better off we all are. There's things in these woods that need killing."     The HHC membership drive and anniversary celebration begins next Saturday and will run for three consecutive weeks.

Haven Tattoo Shop Gets Under Parents Skin

by David Teagues, Herald Staff Writer

It's summertime in Haven and skin is in. The sudden surge in "skin art" has some local parents up in arms. Tatto artist Russel Xavier, co-owner of Punk Parlor Tattoodenies any claims of underage tattooing. An artist and tattoo designer known for his edgy Celtic inspired designs, Xavier drew grim notoriety after his signature "Celtic circle" appeared on	the bodies of two local men, one of whom was a recently paroled felon.     "I don't want my child patterning himself after a convicted killer," said Haven Parents Association President Keshia Evans. Evans is just one of many parents seeking to have their child's tattoo removed after harassment. "We've had threatening calls from strange men at all hours of the
night demanding we get my son's tattoo off before they rip it off. I don't know who there were but I certainly believed them."     What do the designs mean? Apparently, not much. "People bug me all the time about the meaning of my designs, but they're just doodles," Xavier said. "All I'm trying to do is create something cool and fresh." Some claim that the "Celtic circle"	tattoo design, is hardly "fresh". In the Eastside Cemetery, several headstones going back a century bear a nearly identical symbol, the origins of which remain unknown.     "Kids need to understand that some symbols hold meaning and bring certain... consequences to the wearer. Think before you ink."

Scholarship Established in Student's Honor

by Vince Teagues, Herald Staff Writer

Students of Haven High School with ambitions in the field of law may now be aided in their studies thanks in part to newly established Matthew West Scholarship.     Matthew "Matty" West was a victim of a fatal fire during a movie screening at Dockside Green several months ago, the cause of which remains under investigation. While no cause for the fire has been determined, several nearby businesses owners reported hearing West involved in a violent argument moments before the fatal explosion. Officer [[Audrey Parker|Audrey Parker of the Haven Police Department assures citizens this remains under investigation.     The West family felt compelled to find a bright light in this dark tie. "We were besides ourselves with grief," Matthew's mother Lorna West said. "We needed something positive to focus on." Though in many ways a typical teen that loved video games and junk food, "Matty had a burning commitment to the ideas of justice and equality," his mother said. "If

he thought something was unfair, he'd do whatever it took to make it right."     The Matthew West Scholarship will give a small bursary to one Haven High School students pursuing a law-related education who demonstrates a commitment to the ideals of justice and equality for all.

Haven Elemtary
3^rd Grader Wins
Poetry Contest

by David Teagues, Herald Staff Writer

    Junie James, a 3rd grader at Haven

Elementary School, took top prize
in the first annual "I Heart Haven"
Poetry Contest, sponsored by the
Haven Society for the Preservation of
Literature and Local Fauna.
    The "I Heart Haven" Community
Pride campaign has spawned several
new initiatives since its launch a month
ago, but none quite so popular as the
poetry contest.
    The contest was open to students'
grades three through eight, and
submitted poems had to reflect the
theme of Haven appreciation.

Haven is a special place,
with shining smiles on every face.
To leave here would be very bad.
To live here makes me very glad.
In Haven I have many friends.
They keep the secrets I tell them.
In Haven troubles come and go,
my mom and dad warned me so.
I heart Haven this is true.
If you live here, you'll learn to
love it too.
--by Junie Ann James

An Apple A Day

By Dr. Rudy Lucassi, Contributing Columnist To The Herald

A patient came into my office sobbing, visibly shaken and incoherent. She'd experienced vivid hallucinations of her deceased husband while out shopping. The abusive man who'd terrorized her throughout their marriage was now doing so from beyond the grave. That same day a young man who'd been terrified by dogs as a child had similar hallucinations of a rabid dog charging him in a local store. It was an alarming reminder of a growing problem few "Havenites" care to address... sleep deprivation.     When pressed for answers, both patients reluctantly admitted that they operated on less than four hours' sleep most days. We might associate such stress-inducing sleep loss with a solely urban lifestyle, but

the truth is that modern life makes great demands on our time and energies wherever we live.     So what is an overworked and under-slept Havenite to do? Unfortunately, the answer seems to be to put sleep back on the schedule. Another recent patient came in after hallucinating a "scary clown" at the bus station. Her busy life as a federal law-enforcement agent was clearly impinging on her sleep schedule. I prescribed a new sleep ritual and eight hours reserved for sleep, every night. I'm proud to say it must have solved her problems — I haven't heard from her since.     Remember: physical and mental health go hand in hand, so don't be afraid to slap that snooze button a time or two...it's just what the doctor ordered.

Ask Auntie Em

By Emma Dunkirk, Advice Columnist

Dear Auntie Em:
    I'm worried about my mother-in-law. She's always enjoyed
walks along the beaches, usually early in the morning or
around sunset. Lately she's claimed to see a "mysterious
figure" also walking along the beach at times, seemingly
searching for something. Normally I wouldn't be concerned —
there are plenty of clam diggers and beachcombers out at any
time of day.
    What concerns me is her insistence that the figure looks
like our recently departed Police Chief Garland Wuornos.
She knew him, of course, but they weren't close. Should I be
worried about this kind of obsessive behavior?
    Yours,
    Worried By The Water

Dear Worried:
    Grief is a strange and powerful process — no one likes
being reminded of their mortality. Even the passing of a total
stranger can sometimes affect us in unexpected ways. If an
occasional passing glimpse of someone she mistakes for her
lost acquaintance is the extent of her grief, then that doesn't
strike me as cause for concern.
    You should, of course, monitor her situations, and do seek
out professional help if she suddenly goes to pieces.
    Always,
    Your Auntie Em

Dear Auntie Em:
    After twnety years of marriage, my husband "Harry" has
started behaving oddly. It used to be I could set my watch
by Harry, and now he seems as strange as the weather's been
around here lately.
    Harry is literally afraid of his own shadow, acting like it's out
to get him. He's also taken to disappearing during the daytime
and only returns well after dark.
    Harry licked a substance abuse addication years ago,
and though he swears he hasn't relapsed, that must be the
explanation for his bizarre behavior. I'm at the end of my rope,
Auntie Em, what should I do?
    Sincerely,
    Heartbroken In Haven

Dear Heartbroken,
    Just as you said, there re some folks who are as
unpredictable as the weather in our dear town — chalk it up to
"human nature."
    If you know Harry to be a man of his word, then trust him
when he tells you he's clean and sober. While you may find
tolerating his "shadowy" fears irksome, if indulging him calms
the troubled waters in your household... what's the harm?
    We may be living in a disposable age, but marriage hardly
belongs in that category. When we vow "for better or worse,"
it's enduring the "worse" that makes us better. So hang in
there, "Heartbroken;" the "better" will be back around before
you know it.
    Always,     Your Auntie Em