Locameyer file

The Locameyer file is a docket of information collected by the FBI on a man named Owen Locameyer. The file was kept by Audrey Parker, and offered by her to Duke Crocker in exchange for transport on his boat to Kick'em Jenny Neck. The file was later stolen from Parker by Evidence Ryan and turned over to Crocker.

Contents

The file contains an interview transcript, as well as a large hand-drawn map of what appears to be Kick'em Jenny Neck with a number of labeled sites. Several of the labels include: "Rocks" in the northwestern corner, "Twin Pines" along the western edge just to the west of a dark circled X, "Cliffs" in the southwestern corner, "High Peak" in the center of a peninsual along the southern edge just south of a "Sheltered Beach."

Another leaf of the map continues off the western edge, including a hand-drawn sketch of a maze-like symbol at the top of the page, and labels reading "Safe Landing Here" along the north and "Strong Riptide" to the south. Another label reads "Cow Skull," immediately to the east of which is a notation reading "26 paces" over an eastbound arrow pointing toward a sketch of a tree marked "Tree in Rocks" to the west of another dark circled X. Another notation to the east of the X reads "10 paces," but has no arrow. To the south of the "Cow Skull" label is a notation reading "150 paces" beside a southbound arrow, to the south of which is another notation reading "60 paces" below an eastbound arrow.

Duke and Evidence Ryan later used the map to navigate the island and unearth a box containing a slat of wood engraved with the words "town of Hayven, Rasmussen House." They each independently learned the location of Rasmussen House – which had since been converted into The Foggy Grog tavern – and discovered the smaller of the two Crocker Boxes hidden within a wall.

Interview Transcript

The first page of the interview contains the following exchange between Mr. Locameyer and two agents, Agent Brohner and Agent Lively:

(LIVELY): Please state your name for the record.

LOCAMEYER: Owen Locameyer.

(LIVELY): Mr. Locameyer, do you know why we've invited you to speak with us today?

LOCAMEYER: I've got a pretty good idea.

BROHNER: Don't give us that bull. You know exactly why you're here. You're sick, and need to be stopped. So tell us what we need to know and we'll make sure you get the honeymoon suite at the ol' "Hotel Walpole".

(LIVELY): What Agent Brohner is trying to say is that we think you have some things you wanna get off your chest. It seems like something's bothering you. Got something on your mind, Owen?

LOCAMEYER: You wouldn't believe me if I told you. You'll call me crazy just like all the others.

BROHNER: We'll call you an ambulance soon if you don't start talking. You just sit there and let us decided what to believe and what not to believe.

LOCAMEYER: …only tring to help. I'm not a bad … swear. It was the only way to stop …

Appearances

• "Love Machine"
• "Sparks and Recreation"